on elegance and refinement

hello everyone! it’s been a while! hope you’re well and that you’re blessed with beautiful weather.

today i wanted to write about a subject that has been fascinating to me for a while now.

it’s not a surprise that in our day-to-day lives we encounter a lot of different people. that in itself is a wonderful thing, especially considering that it’s now possible to connect with people all over the world.

now, i don’t know about you, but i feel sometimes uneasy in social situations. i’ve always been one to always try to be as considerate to everyone, even if sometimes it’s difficult (telemarketers being a prime example). i found myself to be very critical towards strangers and people i know because i found them rude, inconsiderate, vulgar and even unhygienic. i didn’t like to see myself think and talk about people in that way. that’s not who i was brought up to be, and that’s not who i want to be.

i’ve decided to embark on a journey of personal refinement (like a lot of people). and i’ve encountered a few interesting observations along the way. and since i love lists, here are the top observations i’ve made about myself that i’d like to correct:

1. i talk loudly. and fast. and sometimes cut people off mid-sentence.

that’s something i’ve noticed seems to annoy quite a lot of people. especially when discussing something important. i’ve recently been in a difficult situation at work and found myself to be quite defensive. i noticed i did all of these and that i wasn’t being respectful towards the person i was talking to.

2. i don’t look and act as feminine as i feel.

i think that being overly feminine is somewhat looked down upon in certain social realms. i’m sure someone would have great fun writing an academic article on the subject! i don’t think it’s realistic for me to look “perfect” (ie. flawless hair, makeup and outfit) all the time, but i do notice that slouching, and some misshapen clothes make me feel not as good as i would want to.

3. i don’t always pay attention

whether it be with a chatty stranger or a good friend, i sometimes find myself not listening to people properly. when i realise someone is doing that to me, it makes me feel sad, and sometimes insecure. i hope to find a genuine interest towards people and be compassionate.

4. swearing

as a teenager, i swore all. the. time. my mother despised it, and i would sometimes slip up in front of people i wouldn’t want to swear in front of (a teacher or a cute guy would be good examples). i think i picked up swearing from my social group as a teen and now that i don’t see them anymore, it really doesn’t suit who i’ve become and how i want to be seen. this bad habit is nearly gone, i hardly ever swear. but when i do, i feel very disappointed, especially if it’s done casually without being mad or upset.

5. closing myself off from people

i realised how absent minded and closed off people looked on public transport. i try to limit mindless activities like checking my phone because i feel “bored”, listening to music on a portable device and crossing my arms. i also try to avoid doing any kind of personal grooming in public. i feel that i can take my own time later in the washroom and fix my hair, makeup or whatever else is wrong. being focused on oneself in public sends the message that you’re in your bubble and wished not to be disturbed. at least, it does to me. i love spontaneous conversation and i try to be in the moment as much as possibe.

i hope this post was interesting to you! do share your thoughts in the comments.

hugs,

marie

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